worked with some girls for some pilot graduation event..
and it was so much fun!!
after that head down to butter with jojo and ryan drunk in the cab...
haha
but congrats ryan !! he finally got the call sign he wants.

the girls working

and the big boys bunch at atlantis
bumped into them again while working for camus

i miss JIA babyyyyy

we metup with evie and kelly for the muse concert at indoor stadium!!! *thanx to Evie for the tix*

hanging out with her is always full of laughter.
and guess what?
she found a broccoli on the floor along the roadside!!!

cute jia getting all excited about the veggie.
she even wanted to keep it in my bag, and of cox, i refused.
haha

us at the VIP seatssssss
omg.. i cant believe it i got VIP tix to muse concert for free..

forgetful me left my whole makeup bag at raffles city toilet.
damn called back to check and lucky it was there...

went back the next day to collect.

cant rreally tk good pics . =( its either too bright, too dark or too blurry.
damn.
but their voice is awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee
took videos of them thou.
will upload it again next time.




then after-party at stereolab


i was so so sooooooo tired.
jia and me ended up gg home early.


muse is lovez. really
you know live performances are always lousier than what you get on cds and stuff?
but muse has got the exact same standards can
their live is definitely awesomeeeeeeeeee

....

some random pics during the weekends
me working for lunch actually valentine's day event at clarke quay.

attica night with pesh and trish.

butter and le noir night!!!!!!!!
love the PRC to bits.

and pesh is mad drunk, she KOed in the toilet and throw tantrums.
Pffft.
but kinda cute thou hee.


funny pesh.

and phil phoon

he once said before he wont love anyone like how he once loved me.
i guess it was all a lie.

but he was so convincing... the way he looked into my eyes.

i hope the girl he is holding now will teach him how to write Xin Fu in chinese....
just like how i wrote for him before, two of us, bunked into a cozy hotel room.

and i smiled,with tears in my eyes, at how lucky the girl is, to have his love...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

daddy 加油!
你一定会好起來.

it was dawn's bday !!!!
happy 21st baby!
she booked a villa at amara sanctuary, due to her having some problems, me and z baby became the admin cum worker for her pre-party preparations, but it was all fun!!

we went to mustafa, katong, plaza singapura to search for decorations, guests book and stuff to help dawn out.
and then...
the actual day=>
z baby, me, kenneth and erwin had fun blowing balloons and decorating the villa!!
picture all credited to William, the hard on photographer. haa
thats yours truly, playin with the i-dunno-whats-that-called.

jeff came down after he knocked off from work.

"the" family~!!



and my sexy dawnnnnn

and sabrina!! didnt get to talk to her much thou..




and i bought this for erwin!!
thought that it was cute.
and he is the bestest bro ive met.
giving me shelter when i roamed ard, being by my side everytime i need someone ard.


jojo!!

and this dumbo superman batman game made me drunk.
we had to drink straight off vodka.
damn.
look at erwin's face you'll know how we felt.




my prettiest z baby!



when we go crazy...


and when i lose at the last game. forfeit - the whole freakin glass of vodka.

and i was wasted.
damn.
but woke up ard 3 ish and hung ard...

then went back w jeff in the morning.
at the end of the day - a big baby totally smashed.

dinner at Tampopo with Ming Qing before gg up for audition.
i was scared shitless mind you.

and Tampopo serves amazing beeffffffffffff




some loose pictures, at Moko with Glenn, cash, jacky, herbert and my babies.

time checked.
6.45 a.m.

water dripping. i see the chairs moving by itself.

and that few punctures on the ceiling that ive been looking at most of the time when im in that room are dancing merrily together.

i know,
i lose my sanity for that moment.

time and again.
longer intervals...
longer periods....

more recurrence
each time i find myself struggling that tiny wee bit more to haul myself back to reality, enduring the excruciating pain of having to face the world in my cookie jar filled with mirrors.

i see you in reflections, i see everything in reflections.

working w iris is alwaysssssssssssssssss fun n easy.
bimbotic job
were just lazing ard playin a fool most of the time.

gathering at Moko for a bit and discuss about some work stuff.

with beautiful apple.

dinner at Amara hotel at sentosa.
my squid Ink pasta!
wasnt really that nice.
stamdard's nt that good.
cafeteria kinda taste.
i dont know, maybe its just me.

makes me miss da paolo's aglio Olio.
its heavenly.

went to Grand Copthorne waterfront for a night's luxury.
and look at the amount of food we ordered.

they have push the whole round table into the room.
and i love the bathtub!!!!!!

i know i look
s.p.a.s.t.i.c.

just finished my lash session heading to town to meet the girls.
been hanging out with them a lot lately.

stayed over at jobina's plc for overnight project marathon.
but i KOed like ard...2ish? slept all the way until its time for sch (i did wake up at 7 plus to add in my gibberish as contribution!)

the next day went to abel's plc with z baby to look at his new office home which we r going to rent tgt soon if he gets the partition and renovation done up.

stayed over and went back to balestier w her for naps

then to ratchada again and movies.
caught the spy next door and its complicated recently.
4godsake , chick flicks!

i took it still and it was not that bad after all.

then to erwin's plc to chill until its time to go to work!

prob just gonna go rent some dvds for monday night's movie at home late after work.

time checked.

i know you.
i hear you.

fuck my life.

at shane's house playing a fool with his designer bike.
and casper behind the cage!!


at ratchada with edwin and beloved z baby

shit we look more n more like a thai

and jerdine's bday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my bestie's 25th bdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
at HOS and then to ratchada

and with christine!!

finally get to see some of them after such a long time.

and shes drunk like 12 ish







and i love my gfs

this is called love.
we dont need any guys around.
bcox we've got us.


my babies staying over at my place!
all pictures below - NOT for the weakminded.

i had a vision.
time checked yesterday night.


picked up my handphone,
5.23 a.m. i saw.

was it a dream?
i felt the exact same silence and emptiness that was almost surreal and i struggled to remember it for fear i will forget once i open my eyes, dreams or not. the deafening silence seems to be piercing through my ears, i felt totally wretched.

and when i raised up my fingers, felt the softness of the ruffled fabric, i know its real.


i almost cried out loud, with my heart sobbing hard, pounding ferociously against my ribs, at the cruel reality i so hope i will never wake up to. but i know forlorn of all hope, i cant stop moving forward in this godforsaken world filled with shackles and chains where sunlight cant penetrate and we all look like Edward cullen who bathed too often in the moonlight.

words all riddled, panting.
and panting.
i kept running,
and running...
until i feel my ligaments tear,
and that involuntary, spasmodic muscular contraction...
and then i fell, intoxicating myself with the madshit im escaping from.

i squeezed my eyes tight. shut.
force myself to drift back in again
i dont want to wake up.

------------------------------------------------------------------

a mixture of pictures taken ages ago.
walked pass Etude the other day and decided to tryout their skin and makeup stuff..
heard raves from my friends and sis...

and im totally in love with BB creams i had 7 to 8 different bottles at home of different brands.
will review their product soon.

went to ratchada again to support dawn and z baby

then to velvet for ben !

jia, bosco, dawn n z baby came down shortly after.

next day went to monsoon Storm for hair dying
then bedok 85 with jin hao for late dinner.



and i just made an impt decision to go for the audition.
hope i will pass!

song's house to chill out.

travelled all the way to some wulu bukit timah plaza with my couzieeeeeeeeeeee
trish is one funny character.
and shes totally amazed with this chainlink bottle stand stuff.

looks like the bottle is floating on its on ya?

cool shit

was watchin the family guy together


then off i went to ratchada with abel to support z baby!!!!

dawn was dancing there too!


and i simply love her voice.

--------------------------------------------------------------

cldnt help but wonder, why are there so many sluts ard stealing ppl's bf ...
and i no longer see whats so beautiful in you
lil bitchy cousin. take this i say, fuck yourself.

---------------------------------------------------------------

kbox night with z baby and triple A.
before that, attended Queenie's bday celebration.


white as dress code, tons of ppl turned up for her celebration at cineleisure preview lounge.

new year's eve was nothing special...

was reminded of last year's new year's eve...

he once said he felt sorry he's going to China and he cldnt spend our first 2008 NYE together...
i told him "hush hush, go, find your friend that needs you more than me."
so off he went, and i was touched he called me at countdown to wish me happy new year (although i cldnt hear much of what he said bcox of the music in the club)

and he said he cried when he heard our song - "right now" in China while he's doin his countdown. i was a bit skeptical... but still i felt a sense of blissfulness.

when he came back, he promised he will spend the next NYE together.
but we never get to last that long before he grew tired of me and changed his heart.


we like to go on hotel trips, there was once in some hotel, he ask me to teach him how to write Xin Fu in chinese.
he said that was how he felt.
but the feeling didnt last and i see him gradually lose interest in me.


he used to send breakfast for me every morning at my office.
he said he will do it for as long as he could.
his definition of long is obviously of no match for mine.

i love kissing him outside my office, we will take the lift up.... and then down... just so we could kiss longer.
i didnt know that was lust, but not love from him..

"hey, you look cute" that was the very first sentence he said to me when he picked me up at some unexpected place.
i commented after that, that i thought he sounded too smooth..
i didnt believe when he said he was actually nervous.
but i believed in the end, bcox he looked sincere... i didnt know he did it all the time.


when he first stood up and gave me a long kiss me in front of his family, relatives and friends at his mum's birthday dinner, i thought i was special...
that night he made me fall in love with him..
and when i finally agreed to share my love, i thought i saw that tingle of joy in his eyes. i didnt know it wasnt genuine.


i thought we were really loving and sweet when he picked me up after my work, and we will stop by the road shoulder at soem highway to eat our favourite mee goreng in the car bcox we were too hungry to wait.
sometimes we did it for breakfast during weekends too, all hungover and hungry from the party the night before. i thought i was going to do that for the rest of my life....


he took paper and pen and we wrote down our feelings when he found out that i cldnt express myself well by speech. i still remember... we were at VillaBali. that was the first time ive been there. he was apologetic that it was kinda noisy, he thought it would be a quiet place for us to talk.
but i was touched, by his efforts.


and when we try to get ourselves drunk at his place, watching dvds playing games and then snuggling to sleep together, i thought it was quality time. Better than squeezing in that filthy club with noise n smell. i didnt know he prefer to spend it with his friends.

i always love it when he accompanied me to Kbox or partyworld and hear me sing for hours and say that he's not bored bcox he love hearing me sing.
i never thought it was a nuisance to him.


i thought wrong, i was dumb bcox i thought he was serious when he said he was.
when he said i was the first girl he felt that way, that he's gonna be serious, i thought it was real.... i should have been more cautious.

when he proposed to me in front of his friends, i should have treat it as a joke. i thought it was real, and i actually considered his proposal...
i made myself a joke too..

he spent time, teaching me what was right and wrong. guiding me into a normal relationship as i was broken before.
i thought he was really patient.

he cried and sobbed during our initial break up. it wasnt our fault. we were forced to be seperated.
i thought those tears were real too.

as he opened my heart to love, i gave everything.
thinking we could work things out...
i know i havent let myself down, bcox i gave everything. i tried to be his best girlfriend.
i did my best.

he can have all the fun he wanted, fool around all he wanted.
to him, i was just another girl he played around with... sneering every night at how naive i was.

i was upset at first. but now, im not giving a shit to it.
bcox i know, the day he forced my heart open, i havent let him down...
till now.
i gave him my best.
and i know he can see it...
i know he can also see how he changed me back to who i was before...


dont tell me about love.
love is just a hope that people cling onto knowing it doesnt exist.
it. doesnt. exist.


anywayz...
i WAS proud of him as a boyfriend. he gave me the sweetest time in my life. ..
but he also showed me that what seems like the truth, maynot be. Even how real it looks.


i failed to realized that not everything is real
i made up this beautiful story with him, not knowing i was delutional.

to you,
i was once proud of you, i hope that you too, were proud of me.

love always

so after reminiscing....

2009's NYE is gone
and i know 2010 will be better!

my last night was spent with my beloved friends.
first i rushed down to Ratchda to give z baby some support on her debut performance there.
helped her with the makeup and bitched a bit about the you-know-who.

gorgeous her...

was apologetic i wasnt there when she sang... ...
fuck butter was fuck crowded!!

everywhere was fenced up!!!
and i was sitting by the roadside waiting for Gary and company to come.

i cant even walk down the stairs to Butter.



a bit cramped up face,


i was sitting at this roadsign board...that explains the dotty backgrd.

and garyyyyy





------------------------------------------------------------------

wanted to get dawn to go with me to the Hatpy blogger's party by 24seven communication at singapore arts musuem.
changed of plans last min... because Treasure Hunter sounds more appealing, so i cancelled w dawn, but my friend flew me aeroplane...
so........ in the end... i went for the party still, w jia.
food before the event

and the bloggers...

we each have to come with a funky hat.. but i didnt bring any.. too last min decision... sooooooo
they made us wear their hats.

receptionist were busy all night long..



me and jia

and some performance

there were competitions whereby you have to find some pieces of art with the clues they gave.

busy finding....

and us, playing a fool with the arts - which apparently we dont really know how to appreciate! haa


cab back to jia's house to laze ard b4 heading down to zouk for janice

wanted to nap till 11... but we only woke up like 12 plus?

lazy asses

velvet was fuck packed.
and were so pissed off we left abt half an hr later..
bosco came and we went down to club nana... my first time there (JANICE RECCOMENDATION!)
it was ok there.. nt fun FUN, but ok...

tipsy joshua

and my two hot babes

bought flowers for this super duper cute singer......... only to know that hez gay..
damn


and then home sweet home!!

bits and pieces of last week...

had yakiniku daidomon w erwin, his friends and dawn on christmas day...
still hungover from christmas eve.

rushed off to Le noir for lockdown party and worked at attica after that.

it was my first time to lockdown party so i thought it was pretty cool.

they chained up the doors to le noir at 10.30 pm and therez free flow all the way on belvedere.

the rules are 1. nobody can go to the toilet. if one person goes, free flow stops.
2. no smoke break. one person smokes, free flow stops.
3. all in all, you cannot leave the room.

in the end free flow stopped after an hour plus because of some unknown weird, dumb vietnamese who doesnt understand the meaning of "DONT GO TO THE TOILET"

so we've gotta work after that at attica and dawn accompanied me all the way until i knock off.


at united square



i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee scallops

dawn enjoying her raw beef with raw yolk.
eeeyewww




didnt take any pictures at attica, it was a mad rush...


dawn stayed over,
the next morning...
blissful day
with breakfast in the bed
mummy bought meatballs and smoked salmon for us both

ugly us...

these were taken some other day..
went for spa and massage with yijin at spa infinity.



ok, im just being a bore,
my blue black ive gotten while drunk dancing on the DJ console in attica.


went to meet song a while before heading to erwin's place.
wanted to play L4D2, but ended up cooking cheese eggs and spam with DVDs..
duh..

Its xmas eve!! yet again...
i celebrated my xmas at butter, same as last year.

but this time round the people are different, environment is different too...

last year was with Deli, had a loving partner and his good friends.
This year im alone, but with a bunch of fun loving friends and they gave me a happy xmas eve!
dawn,sherry and me

stew, always busy with his phone


amy was with us too

gary...

and ben












it was a blast
wanted to stay in on xmas itself after a night of hard partying but received news to work at attica last minute!!

stay tuned to the next post!